Parasha Deep Dive Podcast Episode 07

Dating Anxiety, The "Vertigo" of Faith & The Myth of Trauma: A Deep Dive into Vayetzei with Dr. Elad Ben Elul

Parasha Deep Dive Episodes
November 24, 2025•2 min read

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Order Dr. Elad Ben Elul's new book with Rabbi Manis Friedman, "To Win a War," here: ⁠https://a.co/g6EFOq8⁠

Why is the journey to finding a soulmate often filled with so much uncertainty and struggle? Why did Yaakov Avinu, the father of the Twelve Tribes, have to leave the holiness of Israel to build his house in a place of darkness?

In this week's episode of Parasha Deep Dive, host Shlomo Godsi is joined by Dr. Elad Ben Elul, a cultural anthropologist and the co-author of the best-selling book "To Win a War" with Rabbi Manis Friedman. Together, they explore the psychological and mystical depths of Parashat Vayetze, reframing our modern struggles with dating, identity, and anxiety through the lens of Yaakov’s journey.

They move beyond the simple narrative to reveal how our greatest spiritual strengths are often inherited not as trauma, but as resilience. From the "vertigo" of faith to the secret of Leah’s prayer, this is a conversation about navigating the unknown with absolute trust.

In This Episode, We Uncover:

  • The "Data Sheet" Trap: Why modern dating feels so transactional, and how to stop trying to fit into "boxes" and let the Divine orchestration take over.

  • Intergenerational Strength: A powerful rebuttal to the modern obsession with "generational trauma"—how the Rebbe taught that we inherit courage, not just pain, from our ancestors.

  • The Pilot’s Vow: A stunning metaphor for faith: why we make vows to navigate spiritual "vertigo" when our emotions and intellect tell us we are crashing.

  • The "Stone" Strategy: The mystical concept of becoming a "stone" (Kabbalat Ol)—staying exactly where God puts you until He moves you, and finding peace in the present moment.

  • Leah vs. Rachel: A deep analysis of the "unloved" wife who refused to give up her place in Jewish history, and why mercy, not love, is the true foundation of a lasting marriage.

  • Reality vs. Creativity: How Yaakov arrived with empty hands but a full vision, teaching us not to let our current reality interfere with our spiritual creativity.

About Our Guest:

Dr. Elad Ben Elul is an anthropologist who was inspired by Rabbi Manis Friedman's teachings. He curated, edited, and translated materials to collaborate with Rabbi Friedman on their book, "To Win a War," which delves into Jewish philosophy regarding war, peace, and strategy.

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parasha portiontorah studypodcast
On the Alshech's Yortzeit, I Received a Message... After morning prayers in the Alshech Shul, I would learn the Alshech’s Torah, just me and him. It was an intimate process that began my close connection with this great sage. Then, on Erev Pesach 2023, at 2 AM, I received a clear message: open a center of learning here, at the Alshech Shul, for the English-speaking communities around the world. I later realized that very night was the Alshech’s Yortzeit. That realization still gives me the chills! This Academy is not just a project; it is a response to a divine call. I humbly ask you to join me in answering it.

Shlomo Godsi

On the Alshech's Yortzeit, I Received a Message... After morning prayers in the Alshech Shul, I would learn the Alshech’s Torah, just me and him. It was an intimate process that began my close connection with this great sage. Then, on Erev Pesach 2023, at 2 AM, I received a clear message: open a center of learning here, at the Alshech Shul, for the English-speaking communities around the world. I later realized that very night was the Alshech’s Yortzeit. That realization still gives me the chills! This Academy is not just a project; it is a response to a divine call. I humbly ask you to join me in answering it.

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